Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Maternity Leave

My 12 weeks of leave was not long enough, not even close.

I'm not a big dreamer.  I have visions of the future of how things will be.  I focus on reality, and while I hopes of how things turn out, I don't have concrete plans.  God has a plan, and his will always trump mine anyway.  My pregnancy was no different.  I couldn't imagine life with a baby and the boys, but not that I have these three precious kiddos, I couldn't imagine my life without them. 

Maternity leave taught me a lot about myself.

I can accomplish a lot if I put my mind to it.  I've never been very good at sitting still, even in school I was always busy and participating in lots of extra curricular activities.  Not that I'm an adult, I still keep busy all the time, the activities have just changed.  I have a very difficult time resting if I know there are dishes to be done and laundry to be done or trash, you name it.  I try to go to bed every night with the house picked up and mostly in order.  I think this will be a big help to get us all out the door on time in the mornings!

My faith has really grown over my time on maternity leave too. Since I've taken on a role in our church that requires me to be there every Sunday, we've been much better at getting out the door every Sunday morning.  I'm glad we're doing it.  It's something I'd always tried for, but it was so easy to let the devil sneak in and allow us to be lazy on Sunday mornings.  That is no longer an option.  And with Keith working lots of Sunday mornings this summer, I've been managing to get the three kids to church solo.  I've started reading a devotional and the recommended selections from the Bible.  I'd like to say I'm committed to it every day, but I haven't managed that yet.  But a few times a week I'm spending time with my Bible and reading, and that is good for my soul. 

I've learned a lot about my husband too.  His experience with a baby this time around is much different than his baby experience with Caden and Caleb.  When I was pregnant I found comfort in knowing he'd done this before, but there were so many things that we both felt like we didn't know what we were doing!  Keith doesn't like to stay home for long periods of time.  He gets antsy if he doesn't leave the house for a whole day.  I on the other hand, could stay at home for days and not mind at all.  I suppose in that matter he's good for me; maybe I won't become a hermit this way!  But the most important thing I've learned about my husband, he loves us.  It's been amazing to see him grow and expand welcoming Elinore into our family and developing that bond.  As a daughter, who is a Daddy's girl, I hope for nothing less than that wonderful relationship between Elinore and her Daddy.

I've learned a bit about our marriage too.  I admit, I was somewhat naive about how having a baby would impact our marriage.  I mean we already had kids and were raising them; we already had established a lot of our thoughts on parenting and discipline, etc. so we shouldn't have to figure that out again.  While that may still all be true, the things we've learned about our parenting style are not yet relevant to our sweet little Elinore.  Our style focuses on older kids, and boys; I think we'll be making some adjustment to our little girl's personality too.  While we disagree about some things, we're working them out and getting along just fine.  I now have a better understanding why I've read so much about continuing to focus on your marriage after children, and I am very conscious of that in our actions.  It's something we talk about together and something I hope continues, 'til death do us part. 

I've learned a lot about being a mom to Caden and Caleb.  I've learned to include them in as much as I can with Elinore.  They love their sister and are very interested in what she's doing and what she can do at this age.  I learned to plan an activity for them each day, it can be something simple, a tent for the swing set fort, baking cookies, coloring a picture for someone, just so long as there is something in the day they can look forward to doing.  That has helped us all for the days they are home all day.  They weren't used to be home without our kids around them and things to do all day when they stayed home with us for the summer.  They are growing and learning and I loved being able to see more of that as they spent the time home with us before kindergarten started. 

I've learned kindergarten was a bit adjustment for Caden and Caleb, and Keith and I too.  It is one adjustment I think we're still working through.  One that will probably take us longer with my transition back to work as well. 

I think it goes without saying I've learned a lot about babies.  I'm so glad I've found the blogging world and so many websites to read about things.  I'm constantly reading to learn more about different people's opinions and studies about raising children.  I love the availability to it and the flexibility it affords us to pick and choose what methods we want to use for our family. 

And of course, I've gotten to know Elinore.  I know my baby, and I know it's going to be hard to leave her later this week when I go back to work.  Your first day at the babysitters will be another first for your baby book. 



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