"Step"

I hate the term "step-parent" or anything similar. 

I feel like there are so many stereotypes with it and that the word in itself makes those individuals less qualified or somehow discounted. 

I feel like once that term is applied, suddenly perceptions and expectations change.

It makes me self-conscious about my right to parent my boys.

And quite honestly, it shouldn't be that way.  I know that, but that never changes the way I feel when it arises.

Generally, it doesn't come up.  People ask if I'm their mom, and I say yes, no further explanation needed.   Sometimes, people realize that the math doesn't add up, get a quizzical look on their face, and start asking questions.  (If you know I'm a college grad, my approximate age, 26, and their age, nearly 6, people generally ask questions.)

Then further explanation is required.  Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't. 

My boys have two mothers.  I am one of them.  They know that, we know that, and we accept it.

But it still bothers me. 

This weekend with Caleb's hospital visit really stirred up those feeling of insecurity in me again.  Medical situations are tough for me, because I have no rights to make medical decisions, sign medical papers, even sign school permission slips.  And don't even get me started on medical histories when we have to go through their past every time, especially when they're are right there with us.  They know the story, but that doesn't mean we're alright discussing it with you in front of them.  (I have to say, the staff at Akron Children's was very courteous about it and asked my husband if he'd like to step into the hallway to discuss anything while I stayed with Caleb. Thank you!)

I recently heard a country music artist, I can't remember which one, state on the radio he was a step-father, and he hated the term step-parent.  I couldn't agree more. 

In a society where this is becoming more and more normal, I hope we all work to change those stereotypes and allow step-parents to feel equally important and valid in their roles.