Sunday, April 04, 2010

So I heard you were...

The days leading up to Easter Sunday didn't go very smoothly in my house.  A lot of things were said, feelings were, hurt, hard work was complete, and people were just plain tired.  By the time Easter Sunday rolled around, I wasn't looking foward to getting everyone up motiveated for the holiday festivities and then to get off to church, but we did it anyway. 

We got to church a few minutes late, and I flashed back to dad being angry at us for making us and driving past the church when it'd started before we got there.  Luckily we'd gotten Grandma to save seats for us in the church, and we tried to quietly sneak in.  As quietly as you can with two 3 years olds in tow! 

As happens nearly every week in church, the boys had to pee during the sermon.  Muffin and I watiting on Daddy & Tater Tot's return and then off we went.  Muffin did his thing, and on our walk back past the nursery, I was stopped by an old aquaintence from my time in youth group.  He had stopped me for what I think was to congratulate me.  He had a big smile on his face and walked up ready for an awkward hug.  (I am NOT a touchy-feely person.  Unless you're my immediate family or a VERY close friend.  I don't hug.)  He says "So I a hear you're uh...expecting."  I flatly responded no, got the awkward hug over with and headed back into church with my Muffin. 

By the time I'd returned to my seat, I was thinking to myself wondering if I'd done the right thing.  I wasn't wrong, I really am not expecting, but I was, not so long ago.  We had shared with out families and close friends not too long after we'd found out.  News spreads quickly, but apparently not the sad things.  Not only was I concened about how I handled it; I was really somewhat offended.  Did he really think I LOOKED like I was expecting!?  I've been without any form of baby now for over month, but I hadn't gain any weight during the pregnancy.  Not only that I've been working to loose some! 

I still don't know if how I responsed was right or not, but what else is there to say.  In the past month I've mostly responded with medical explination, which really may boarder on oversharing at points, but it's easier than trying to talk emotions. I'm not interested in explaining myself, or  having the awkward oh I'm so sorry, on and on., especially with people I hardly know!  (At least in person.  I think I have a case of keyboard courage!)

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