A Reminder

I just finished reading Nichole from In These Small Moments blog, and while I'm not nearly as fluent of a writer, it inspired me to put my thoughts on today into words.

My husband had an upper endoscopy this morning.  I was worried about it.  I'm a worrier; it's part of what I do.  He reassured me it was just precautionary.  After the procedure, he also confessed he was worried too. 

The details of today are irrelevant really.  Everything turned out just fine.

The thing about today, is that was a big reminder in my mind to his colonoscopy nearly a year ago.  You see, he had that procedure on a Monday in January.  The prior week, I'd been to my first pre-natal appointment with my doctor.  We left that appointment knowing there were two possibilities.  1) We weren't as far along in our pregnancy as we thought we were.  2) There was no fetal development.


My doctor wouldn't have results of some blood tests for us until Monday. 

After Keith's colonoscopy, we had breakfast and then were headed to my mom's to pick up our boys when my doctor called.  She confirmed that the pregnancy wasn't developing and that I was to have another ultrasound that afternoon.  I quickly pulled over to the nearest parking lot, and sat there in tears holding my husbands hand, who was still feeling the effects of the anesthesia from his procedure. 

I know he was exhausted that day.  I would soon learn what it felt like to trudge through a day after those powerful medications.  He was a trooper.  He made phone calls to our families and I sent text messages to friends and co-workers.  I made a tearful phone call to my boss at the time, and prepared to have some time off work.  I still had several ultrasounds and appointments before we proceeded with the D&Cs, but we carried on.

Today, we were back in the same clinic he had the colonoscopy for his procedure.  It also happens to be the same clinic I had some of my ultrasounds in.  It brought back a flood of emotions.  I remembered those feelings; thought about our wee one, and reminded myself how grateful I am for the life we do have and how far we've come since this day.

Although, I'd still prefer to not be back in that building again for some time.  I can't believe it's been almost a year.