We Finished the Basement!

Before:

After:

We've gotten rid of the bowl chair, added buffet, and hung some things on the wall since this photo!

That clock sitting on top of that crate of storage for the toys, has since been hung on the wall!  And that pile of crap through the doorway has been all put away too!

Say goodbye to that coffee table and added another chair to sit and watch the fireplace!

More photos later, with the fish tank in too.

First Day of Preschool

 September 8, 2010

Man Shoes

This past winter was not a good time for me.  Looking back I know that.  At the time, I thought it was just me.

But during that time, I decided I hated wearing anything but flat shoes.  No heels for me, and I thought I'd never wear them again.  Boy have I changed my mind, as I've been wearing them nearly everyday lately! 

I bought these shoes one day.

I brought them home.  Keith looked at them, and said they look like men's shoes.  I shrugged it off; what does he know!?

Then one morning the boys were helping me get dressed.  I occasioanly let them pick out shoes for me.  It doesn't always turn out the best, and I sometimes change anyway, but they have fun. 

This morning, the boys pulled these shoes out of my closet and proceed to ask why daddy's shoes are in my closet. 

Please ignore my legs. I would never wear these shoes without pants.  It is purely for the shoe look!

That's the day, I gave in.  Ok, they look like man shoes, but I like them and their comfortable.  Ever since they've been called my man shoes.  They got me through this past winter though!  I may wear them again this winter, but I will probably become more feminie and not wear them as a part of my daily attire.  Perhaps just on casual Friday when I wear jeans.

Although, since I have what has to be the first cold of cold and flu season this week, I thought about wearing them today with the cooler weather! I resisted and wore much cuter flats, but my heels paid for it with a lovely blister!

More Children?

Today was the due date of our baby.

I've since moved on, and really came to an acceptance of it.  That first month or two were pretty difficult times for me.  I relied on my husband a lot to keep our home and family moving, I was a couch potato.  It took all I had to go to work everyday and make it through it.  This is one of the main drivers that got me starting running.  (More about my running later!)

This summer, I spent a lot of time evaluating my life, deciding what I want, and prioritizing.  I am more comfortable with myself now than I have ever been.  I think God had a plan; I think I needed to have this time to take a look at myself, my family, and my marriage before we were prepared to introduce another little blessing into our family.  (I'm confident we would have been wonderful if we'd had a baby today though too.)

But as I've grown to this adult I am now, another child has been in the back of my mind since the day we discovered we weren't going to be having a baby this year.  Immediately following my surgeries and the steps back to a normal life, I was adamantly against it.  I wasn't mentally prepared for it, and I wasn't sure it was what I wanted.

We could be happy as a family of four.  There are a lot of opportunities and things you can do with two kids, that you can't do with 4.  (I feel strongly about having an even number of kids.)  Our family is already slightly complicated, and adding more kids to it would only further that. 

Then there is the option of a dog.  Which I've also thought about lately.  I was in a big I want a dog phase after we lost our pregnancy.  It's what I wanted to fill that hole.  Luckily, I had enough sense not to do it, but I still think about it sometimes, but if there's a chance we're going to have more kids, I'm not ready for a dog!  One think I know, I do want a dog in the future.  When is the question here too!

More recently I've started thinking about what a big family would mean.  I've thought about how great it would be for there to be siblings to support each other into adult hood.  I've wanted a sister since I got my baby brother at the age of 2.  And even now, sometimes I think about what it would be like to have a sister, while I can't guarantee that I'd have boys are girls, they're siblings that they would hopefully build lasting relationships with.  I've thought about how when we're old it'd be so wonderful to have a big family gather with all of our children.  (I love having gatherings at our house!)  I thought about how I don't want them to be too far apart from the twins in age, and how a family of six might be.  (I think I'd need a bigger kitchen table!)  And I was ready for it.  Well, maybe not just yet, but soon!  (We have a trip to Disney planned with the four of us, my parents, and my in-laws for the boys 5th birthdays in May.  I certainly don't want to be pregnant for that trip!)

Then, there was our Labor Day Picnic this year.  Sparing all the family drama, I'll give you the short story, because I've clearly had plenty of other things to say judging by the length of this post.

My husband comes from a family of 4 plus 3 more step-siblings.  It's what I'd call a pretty large family, and there is often drama.  We hosted a picnic some of our family this weekend, and wouldn't you know, my two Sister-in-Laws got into a fight right there in my driveway.  Fortunately, I was inside my house, but I know a few people came inside shortly afterward because of the uncomfortable feeling of it all, and the party ended shortly there after.  I think my Mother-in-Law was embarrassed by their behavior. 

My husband and I were talking about the day later that evening, and what happens in big families.  The increased chance for fights and that dreaded drama.  My husband admits, his family may not be the best pictures to paint of a larger family, but it has me thinking about the possibilities in a larger family.  My hope is that we would raise our kids so that those concerns of mine wouldn't be an issue, but I can't guarantee that either. 

And now, I'm on the fence again and back to where I was before.  A family of four, or a family of six?

And if we choose to go for more, I worry.  What if our next attempt at pregnancy fails too?  I'm not prepared to deal with the emotional stress of that again.  But I've thought about adoption too, it's something I've always wanted to do, and it's unofficially happened for me with my boys, and that makes me smile.  I've thought about foster parenting too, and I still think about that being something I'd like to do sometime.  I think it would be very fulfilling, and with my experience in our blended family, I think we could really make a difference there too if we committed to it!

I pray about it often, and we'll see where this crazy journey in life takes us!  Whatever it holds, I'm excited for it!

Questions I Wish I Didn't Have to Answer

Tonight we had a scheduled visit for the boys with their biological mother.

It is one of my *cough* favorite times of the month.  (I wish there was a good way for sarcasm to show in text format.)  I think I'd rather it be that time of the month every two weeks than sit through these visits, but I know it is important for those boys to understand and know who they are.  So every two weeks, I put a smile on my face, and we talk about going to their other mommy's house. 

Tonight, on the way home from day care, they were asking questions about it as usual and I was answering them.  Tonight, they had a question that brought tears to my eyes.  Their questions went something like this:

We're going to Camerin's house?

Why Camerin no come to our house?

Why Camerin no come sleep in his bed anymore?

Why Camerin no come play at our house?

And as I quickly thought through my head what I should say, I opted for the truth. 

Camerin doesn't want to come play at our house anymore sweeties.  I'm sorry.

And that's all there was to say.  I couldn't lie to them.  It wasn't right.


My boys look up to their big brother.  They love him, and they love play with him.  And when he suddenly stop coming to our house every other weekend, the boys never said too much about it, until now.  It breaks my heart to disappoint them, especially for something so silly to me.  Camerin informed my husband a month or so ago that he didn't want to come stay at our house anymore.  He wasn't going to come stay at our house until his brothers could come and stay at his house.  (Due to circumstances and safety, that will not be happening.)  But to us, we're concerned he'll regret the decisions he's made as a 7 year old, but mostly I pray for them.  When asked, his mother informed us he was old enough to make his own life decision.  

 I hope my boys are able to maintain a relationship with their brother.  Regardless of the situation, they are brothers, and that is a relationship that should last a lifetime.  So, I pray for all of them/us.

Story Book Forest

I completely forgot in my last post about our time in Soak Zone during our PA and NJ vacation!

Before we headed for ice cream and Story Book Forest, we spent the hottest few hours of the day enjoying the splish, splash of the water in Soak Zone!  The kids like running around in the water, even if it was super crowded.  We were there in some of the hottest days of the summer this past July!  I don't have any photos from the water park; we decided we'd better not risk the camera!

Don't worry though, I have plenty of photos to share from Story Book Forest!

I really enjoyed Story Book Forest.  I wish we'd done a better job preparing the boys for what they were about to see.  There were several stories that they weren't familiar with.  Some of them were even hard for me to recall.  Of course that made me feel old, but I think it's just because new things have replaced older memories.

A Question You Shouldn't Ask in a Hospital

Last night, after a long day of waiting at the hospital, my Dad and I were getting ready to go home. 

My mom's nurse walked us out of that area of the hospital. 

On that walk, my Dad asked the nurse: "How many people do you loose here in a day?"

As in, this building is so large and complicated, how do people not get lost getting from one place to the next, which Dad did then clarify.

However, upon first asking the question, the nurse, nor I understood his objective. 

I'm sure you can imagine what we might have been thinking.  There was an awkward silence following the question.

Oh what a day yesterday was.